So, I have a 3.5-year-old son, a 20-month-old daughter, and a 3.5-month-old daughter.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with how to handle certain behaviors—disobedience, whining, selfishness, fighting, fear…you name it. I felt desperate. It started stealing my joy. And that made me sad because I know that being a mom is one of the greatest blessings. I truly believe that! But if that’s true, then why wasn’t I feeling it? The guilt started creeping in.Then, God showed me something: Maybe the problem isn’t just my kids… maybe it’s me. Maybe He was using this season to change me. That little shift made all the difference. My job isn’t to control or fix my children—it’s to guide them and be the example.

Motherhood is so sanctifying!

One resource that has really helped me is the Ginger Hubbard Podcast. I’ll scroll through and find the specific behaviors or topics I need help with, and they always provide a biblical approach. The focus isn’t just on behavior modification but on getting to the heart of the issue—showing our kids their need for a Savior and pointing them to Christ.

One big change I decided to make was this: I am no longer going to be the angry mom. (Now, I’m still human, and I still fall short!) But I’m committed to not disciplining in anger. If I feel myself getting upset, we all take a moment to let emotions settle before addressing the issue. I’ve learned that every time I take a moment to slow down and connect before I correct, it draws us closer.

Discipline is love.

This doesn’t mean we don’t discipline—far from it! The Bible is clear: God disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6). We discipline because we love our children. A great phrase from the podcast that I’ve started using is:

“I love you too much to let you continue on without correction.”

And after discipline, we always reconnect. Because discipline isn’t punishment—it’s correction. It’s not unloving; it’s actually one of the most loving things we can do.

I used to think that disciplining meant I was being mean or unloving, especially because I often reacted in anger. But once I shifted to calm and consistent discipline, everything changed. I realized I needed to be a proactive parent, not a reactive parent.

Of course, there will always be unexpected challenges, but for the common struggles, we can prepare! Having a plan for discipline brings so much more peace to our home.

Consistent discipline also fosters confident children. They won’t feel the need to gauge Mom’s mood to decide how to behave in order to avoid discipline. Instead, they’ll have clear boundaries and a mom who lovingly and firmly upholds them.

Let people in.

One of the biggest turning points for me was asking my Bible study group for prayer—not just for my kids, but for me. For wisdom. For God to change my own heart.

I think many moms fall into the trap of venting and complaining about their kids instead of seeking prayer and wisdom. And honestly… that needs to stop. (Preaching to myself!)

Philippians 2:14 says: “Do everything without grumbling or complaining.” (Everything? Ouch!)

Instead of complaining, we need to bring our struggles to the Lord and to godly community so we can experience true, lasting heart change.

Motherhood isn’t easy, but it is refining. And I truly believe that when we shift our perspective, lean on God’s wisdom, and walk in love and consistency, we can experience joy in the midst of the challenges.

You’re not alone in this, mama. Let’s seek Him together.